Shifting from depression to empowerment through the power of “What if”

Posted by:

Have you been stuck in a trance of playing the victim instead of realizing that even your darkest moments have trained you into your best self? Have you been blaming your parents, teachers or past life circumstances and using them to prevent you from being the person you want to be and creating the life you want? How many more years are you willing to stay stuck in self-pity?

We all have stories, and we fully believe in our stories even when they destroy us and our happiness.

As a coach, it never ceases to amaze me how many clients instantly become defensive when I point out how they might have been creating and using a disempowering story that is hurting them. They come to coaching saying they want to solve the problem (depression, OCD, social anxiety, lack of confidence, childhood abuse, marital problems, addictions etc) but when I point out the inner conflicts or limiting beliefs that might be hindering what they want, their reaction is one of defense and justification of how big and unsolvable the problem is. It’s like they are saying “are you kidding me, you mean that this was all in my head and I just wasted 10 years of my life thinking I have a problem when in reality I don’t?”

It is a normal reaction, of course they are upset with themselves for not being able to shake off the negative thoughts and beliefs sooner, for not being able to see it was a trance. We always have a choice of attitude and meaning in creating empowering or disempowering emotions no matter what life circumstances we face. What we focus on in our mind increases, it takes over our neurology, our behavior and eventually creates more of the same unwanted life circumstances. Our neurons form strong pathways which we reinforce and produce more and more of the same chemicals (emotions) until we get to the point where we are on autopilot. We don’t know how to act objectively, think of the big picture and behave accordingly; instead we react under stressful situations and usually create more pain for ourselves in the long term. But what we need to understand is that even our negative behaviors or limiting identities have served a purpose in our life at soem point, ussualy one of protection of some sort. Everything we do through either positive or negative vehicles is because we are trying to meet our needs. Mastery of life comes when we become aware of what we truly want, eliminate the inner conflicts and build positive vehicles.

Whenever you are channeling one of your victim identities I want you to stop and reverse the process by asking yourself the powerful “what if question” related to a positive outcome you want. If you don’t know where to start, start here with these general statements and slowly relate them to your past life conditions and your desired future life conditions. Settling will not make you happy, giving up on your desires is impossible so you better start creating some empowering thoughts that will attract the right circumstances and with you’re the appropriate behavior you will get what you want, guaranteed.


What if the thought that is harming you would not exist for you? How would you think, feel and behave? What if everything you lived was training for your growth and expansion of awareness, way beyond anything that you would have become if your life circumstances had been perfect? What if what you need now is to let go of the victim story and start creating the life circumstances you really want? What if all you lived was meant to train you so that you can really know how it is and help others get to the next level faster? What if you are a courageous crazy soul that experienced hell in order to know they want heaven on earth and appreciate it when they get there?

Contrast in life makes us know in detail what we truly want, it help us send in the universe desires of life conditions that will help us and humanity evolve. What we forget is that after experiencing contrast we need to learn the lesson, adjust and move even more determined in the direction of what we want expecting a better outcome!



Author Image

About the Author:

Madalina is an experienced certified professional, specialized in personal and professional development: Strategic Intervention Coaching , Master Neuro Linguistic Programming Coaching , Emotional Intelligence Coaching , Kundalini Yoga , Reiki energetic healing

Ask a Question

Coach Madalina will review and answer your question in 24 hrs, please come back!