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Role reversal cultivates unhappiness in relationships

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Each man or woman has both a masculine side and a feminine side of themselves they need to balance and access in different circumstances, but true happiness comes from living in our feminine core as women or masculine core as men.

As a woman you can do everything a man can and even more, no doubt about it. You can have a baby if you want to without needing a man. You can be successful and make all the money and have the career you want and achieve anything you want to.

Through the desire of being independent women have become cold, vicious and aggressive towards other soft and feminine women. Men have either become incapable of expressing their feelings or gave up their masculinity and started acting in effeminate ways in order to please and get love. As a society we are surrounded with misguiding love quotes and don’t know how to build intimacy anymore. For passion to exist in a couple there needs to be polarity between the masculine and feminine energies. If a couple is neutral, has reversed roles or is the same there cannot be passion. Passion means polarity and attraction towards your partner’s energy and that energy needs to be the opposite of your own energy.  When you are outside of your core you are wearing a mask that it’s making you feel miserable and you don’t even know what is happening or what you should do. The masculine is goal driven, and is attracted to the sensitivity and vulnerability of the feminine. The feminine is free flowing, creative, nurturing and is attracted towards the strenght and protectiveness that the masculine energy has. When role reversal happens, in order to protect themselves from being dissapointed, males will drop their instincts for inititive and service while women will drop their intuition and emotional connection. Trading or being polite, even being friends will not be enough in a relationship if passion through polarity is not there.

Aggressive women see the feminine ones as weak, but in reality they are denying their own nature. The soft woman is peaceful and beautiful, nurtures, laughs a lot and flows freely with who she is at her core. The aggressive woman acts cold and selfish because she has been hurt so she feels the need to withdraw love and protect herself at all times through attacks.

In relationships, an aggressive woman unwilling to grow emotionally, will choose a feminine man and walk all over him so she can practice her overdeveloped masculine side and feel the certainty of being in control. Unfortunately, such a woman will never be truly happy because she will not be able to feel respect for her man no matter how much he will love her. You can only imagine how miserable that man will be in a relationship with such a woman.

A trully powerful woman can shift easily from being successful, rational and still bringing her feminine touch in the business world to being soft and caring with her man at home. We don’t need men to do anything for us, but it is nice to be spoiled and loved by our men, it frees us and makes us access more of who we are which brings authentic happiness.

Women are the rhythm and dance of life; we make our men see the beauty and color in life. Our men are there to provide and protect the space where we can do that dance, where we can feel free to express the love inside of us and get them to move from their masculine world focused on how can I successfully get from point A to point B to the feminine way of let’s take the detour and smell the roses on the way there.

Men or women equally want love but most of us compromise for some sort of connection with a partner, because we were hurt and made a decision to prevent that from happening again in the future. True strenght comes in being vulnerable and open to life though.

A masculine man is born with the desire of making the woman he cares for happy, and if he feels unsuccessful at doing that he goes crazy. If he does not know what your needs are then tell him, he cannot read your mind so make sure he understands what makes you feel loved. Of course we as women always give clues and test our men, we do not want to tell them straight forward because we believe they should be able to feel us and know what to do. But ladies, unless you are both getting help from a coach in figuring out the dynamics between masculine and feminine ways of communication, he will not know and only feel helpless in changing things. His whole masculine identity is tied to making you happy, providing and protecting you. Men die for this sense of significance and even though they might love you, they will choose to leave or numb themselves through work, drugs or affairs just to feel certain, connected and important again. 95% of men and women in relatiosnhips are well intentioned towards their partner but feel confused, misunderstood and angry with their partner for not meeting their needs or for their communication style.

All a man really wants, if he cares for you, is to make you happy. Note that I said “if he cares for you”- as a warning sign for those women not wanting to see the reality of” if he is not doing his best towards you, then he just does not care enough about you”. Be sure he will do it for the one he is really interested in. Why waste years of your life feeling empty next to him when you can move on and find one that is available and can’t wait to experience true love? Drop this myth of “I can change him”, you will never change anyone unless they want to change. This is the most common behavior I see in women in my practice, and it keeps them stuck in a vicious cycle of trying to make a relationship happen.

Be realistic, it is the same way we women are. We can have tons of amazing guys pursuing us but if we don’t feel that any of them is truly what we want, we cannot make ourselves love any of them. We can decide to settle out of fear and need for certainty but deep down we know we are settling, even when we are trying to fool everyone else around us. Unfortunately in our society women settle much more than men, and they end up choosing a man they care about but not truly love due to past bad experiences. Even if the man loves her deeply, eventually it will lead to a life missing passion, and problems surfacing later on when the mask will fall off due to a reason or another.

So ladies and gents, have the courage to pursue what you truly want and give it your all when you meet someone special. Put your partner first and make it your goal to always be playful, fun and innovative in your ways of loving them. Ladies, know that no matter how attracted and conditioned men are towards visually beautiful and sexy women, in the end they all agree that there is nothing more beautiful than a woman smilling and being a happy person. Be the beautiful free flowing siren you are at your core, and you will be a men magnet.

If you are scared that some men might take advantage of your kindness, then know you will still become a better person in the process, and you will be able to let them go peacefully knowing that you deserve better and will find better. Compromising, manipulative or selfish behavior will not get you the loving passionate relationship you want, it will just make you a lesser person with no real values and living a lie.

Bibliography:

Robbins/Madanes Institute ” Secrets to passionate marriage”- Marriage Educator Training

Disclaimer- article based on research and coaching of heterosexual couples

 

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Madalina is an experienced certified professional, specialized in personal and professional development: Strategic Intervention Coaching , Master Neuro Linguistic Programming Coaching , Emotional Intelligence Coaching , Kundalini Yoga , Reiki energetic healing

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