Hey my awesome mama, Happy Mother’s Day/International Women’s Day and Happy Anniversary to you two…love you bunches, wish you all the best and lots of patience and understanding when dealing with my crazy self.
Surprise, surprise..What? You thought I would just acknowledge you with a phone call ???
I know you wish I would be there now, but you had a beautiful day full of flowers and presents, and now I thought I should touch your heart a bit with some words of gratitude and love. You’re not allowed to cry, not even tears of happiness, ok!!
Love you very very much and I’m blessed to have you as my mom. Thanks for always being so open with me, for truly making me feel safe in telling you whatever was and is going on in my life, and for never asking me to be someone else.
Thanks for always telling me to be fearless and courageous enough to choose only what makes me happy.
Since fashion is our common hobby, I want to thank you for being such an open-minded fashion designer, before being a mom, and always agreeing with my requests. You never said “no, that is not appropriate for you”, and feeling that freedom of choice meant a lot. Instead, you laughed and gave me ideas of how to make those designs even better, and then asked the girls in charge of the sewing to put them together for me. Because of you and your career it was possible for me to be exposed to that environment. I asked for outrageous fur coats, hats and dresses with feathers, crystals, pearls and all sorts of accessories since I was 5 years old, and I cherish those memories so much. Being able to have the designs I had in mind done for me made me feel special, loved, pampered and between yours and dad’s affection and care, I developed the belief that life is meant to give you everything you want.
You being a fashion designer and him a soccer player, meant plenty of opportunities for fun, and I’m glad you two enjoyed yourselves before having me. You were ready to put yourselves last and I truly felt that every decision was made with the intention of putting me and my wishes and needs first. I cannot thank you enough for that.
Thanks for encouraging me to write and for working with me every day after school on those essays. You had a second job at home tutoring me, and I would not be able to do this if it would not have been for your love and determination. You are wonder woman, and I hope you remind yourself that every day. You sacrificed everything for me, and put yourself last from the moment I came into your life.
You encouraged me to express who I am freely, and not limit myself due to external pressures of fitting opinions about how a girl should be. Your laughter, curiosity and appreciation of my unconventional ideas, instilled in me the desire to look deep inside myself and find out who I am and what I want to do with my life. That doesn’t mean I figured it all out, we have to leave space for surprises and new avenues opening up in the future, but the foundation is there. The independence, confidence and belief in myself are personal values that naturally guide my life.
You encouraged my decisions and ideas even when they were scary or hurtful. I know how much you suffered, and the depression you went through in the years following my departure from Romania and coming to US. I will never be able to thank you enough for the sacrifices and pain you endured because of my decisions. Thank you for believing in me and for not imposing your wishes and motherly needs, but instead always choosing to focus on what I wanted.
I miss you every day.