1. Studies show that a high emotional quotient (or EQ) boosts career success, entrepreneurial potential, leadership talent, relationship satisfaction, higher levels of happiness, mental and physical health, improved social and marital relationships, and decreased levels of cortisol (the stress hormone).
2. Leaders and managers with a high EQ foster an environment of personal development, increased productivity and profits, reduced healthcare costs, increased employee satisfaction and employee engagement as well as decreased turnover.
3. EQ is a learnable skill and everybody can be trained on self awareness and self management, powerful influencing skills, communication, inspirational leadership, conflict management, collaboration and building trust as well as personal power, a combination of self confidence and an inner knowing that we have the power to take on whatever life throws our way.
4. Emotions are the most accurate guidance system we have for identifying the positive or negative focus of our thoughts and the vibrational frequency we emanate, which in turn attracts the people, circumstances and events that create the life we are living.
5. Emotions are at the base of everything we do, we are constantly trying to avoid pain and/or gain pleasure. All emotions break down into two main ones: Fear or Love. The Amygdala (our primitive brain) is concerned with safety and perceives danger in most situations, often causing what psychologists call a “neural hijack”. In those moments the amygdala bypasses the holistic thinker and evolved part of our brain (Neo-cortex) and we experience emotions of fear, injustice, revenge, hate, desire to harm etc. EQ helps us become aware of the inner workings of the amygdala, the defense mechanisms of our ego and enables us in managing our emotions productively.
Emotional Intelligence is our ability to be aware of our emotions and other people’s emotions as they happen and the ability to effectively use that information in order to manage our behavior and interactions and create success in our personal and work lives.
There is heavy research out there showing that leaders and star performers are always the people scoring higher on EQ tests than on IQ ones because abilities such as vision, courage, empathy, building trust and rapport with people are much more important in driving success.The great news is that EQ is a learnable skill so each one of us can become a master at self awareness and behavioral management. Neuroscience and social intelligence have also proven in the last decade, by observing through fMRI’s two brains at the same time, that we are wired to connect and our emotions are contagious. That means that when two people have rapport, there is a different biochemistry in their brain and positive emotions flow because the interaction is engaging, pleasant and smooth. Moreover, further studies have shown that the two people become more creative, optimistic and resourceful, achieving success much easier in life. On the other hand, when we are exposed and have to deal repeatedly with aggressive personalities or sociopathic tendencies, our stamina and motivation drops and the risk for depression is very high. Our emotions can make us reach the heights of success or drag us down into hopelessness and depression, and since we cannot control other people our best bet is to become emotionally intelligent ourselves and manage our life successfully. Thinking and feeling positive is the most important thing that you can do in order to achieve the life that you want, nothing in the whole world will help you attract the good experiences you so want more than knowing how to manage your emotions and focus your thoughts in a positive way.
EQ is divided into 4 quadrants, each one training several competencies:
Self-Awareness represents our understanding and ability to label our feelings, intuitions or reactions and using them as valuable sources of information about our internal and external world so we can create happiness in our lives
- Emotional awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects on our mind and body
- Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses
- Personal power: Self confidence and self esteem, a strong sense of knowing that we are in charge of our lives
Self-Management represents the ability to manage our internal states as well as external behaviors
- Behavioral self-control: The ability to control our impulses and empower ourselves
- Integrity: Maintaining high standards of honesty and ethics at all times
- Innovation & creativity: Eagerness to pursue new and better ideas and ways of enhancing our lives
- Initiative& bias for action: Readiness to act on opportunities or create new opportunities
- Achievement drive: Striving to meet high standards of excellence, always trying to evolve as a human being
- Realistic optimism: Ability to see failure as a stepping stone for success, persistence in drive and motivation to achieve the life we want
- Resilience: Ability to start over when failure happens and make the best out of failure
- Stress management: Working calmly under stress and pressure
- Personal agility: Readily, willingly, rapidly and effectively anticipating and adapting to change
- Intentionality: Thinking and acting “on purpose” and deliberately.
Social Competence- or Relationships Management
Social Awareness represents our awareness of other’s feelings and needs, reactions
- Empathy: Being aware of others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns
- Situational awareness: Understanding a group’s emotional states and relationship connections and being able to respond effectively at all times, making the best out of human interactions
- Service orientation: Sensing, acknowledging and striving to deliver excellence when serving customers’ needs
Social Skills represents an ability to influence others in social settings towards a desirable behavior
- Communication: Listening attentively and facilitating open dialogue between parties
- Interpersonal effectiveness: Possessing diplomacy, tact and interpersonal skills, and knowing how to use them to ease transactions and relationships with others; the ability to relate well and build rapport with all people
- Powerful influencing skills: The ability to persuade and influence others in a positive way
- Conflict management: Ease in Negotiating and resolving disagreements
- Inspirational leadership: Motivating and leading individuals or groups of people by defining a clear, compelling and motivating vision for the future
- Catalyzing change: Initiating, transforming, managing and leading change
- Building bonds: Nurturing and maintaining social connections by bonding with people on a deeper level of trust and care
- Teamwork & collaboration: Working with others and creating group synergy in pursuit of collective goals
- Coaching & mentoring others: Identifying others’ development needs and bolstering their abilities
- Building trust: Being trustworthy and ethical in relationships with others
So, the steps in our action plan regarding EQ would be:
1. Have you take the SEIP online, the most comprehensive social and emotional intelligence assessment instrument on the market today,measuring the 26 distinct social and emotional intelligence competencies mentioned above so we can identify your strengths and potential vulnerabilities when it comes to social and emotional intelligence.
2. Reviewing your scores and according with your goals identifying the related competencies that you need help with
3. I would then send you a targeted program with practical exercises and tools that you can do every day to raise your EQ in those areas. Don’t be scared it would not take more than 30 mins a day to do them, and the exercises are a lot of fun, most of them helping you become aware of your emotions and behaviors.
4. Assessing your progress and modifying the coaching program in order to assist you in becoming your best version.