Being optimistic or pessimistic are learned behavioral patterns, which we achieve through the focus of our mind that leads to empowering or dis-empowering emotions and in turn guides our behavioral responses. We always have a choice of practicing one or the other, but when you have been training yourself to be a pessimist your whole life this shift can be very hard and might take you years or a lifetime of pain to change your neurology, because all this happens at a reactive unconscious level. You want to see the glass half full but you just can’t help seeing the negative, or worry or have anxiety in certain situations. It is real to you and then everything in your reality brings you more proof of that perception. The good news is that Neuro-linguistic programming coaching works directly on your mental make-up and shifts your unconscious beliefs while Emotional intelligence coaching helps you become aware of the meanings you give events and learn to empower yourself in life. The perspective and meaning we give to events will lead us to hope and then action towards our goals or towards depression and hopelessness. It makes us settle for less than what we truly want. Martin Seligman coined the phrases “learned optimism” and “learned helplessness” to describe these 2 emotional states we can choose to live by, and there is extensive research done in Neuroscience as well proving the impact these principles have on the quality of our life. Both of these states are nothing more than repeated patterns of thought, which started forming in our childhood and are based on our upbringing and interaction with our parents and people around us. Pessimists tend to learn to see themselves as having no real worth, feeling hopeless and most importantly helpless. They feel like nothing they do will bring them the success they want, true love cannot happen for them or for anyone for that matter, and there is no point in even trying. Even if they are successful at something they consider that to be luck or a fluke, they do not internalize their personal power. Optimists on the other hand feel their personal power all the time, even when something bad happens they do not generalize that or associate it with personal failure. They attribute failure to bad luck, bad timing, other people or circumstances out of their control and they know that it is a temporary defeat. They see setbacks as stepping-stones for their goals, they take the feedback in and use it in their advantage going forward. They feel their worth, have motivation to constantly evolve, and have an awesome drive to get what they want. They also have better health, happy relationships and marriages, as well as being disproportionately more successful in their careers compared to pessimists.
It is truly worth it to make an effort and learn how to train yourself into becoming an optimistic resourceful person, so that you can have the life you want instead of giving up on your dreams and go through life half dead!!